A proud daddy and VERY tired mommy 
and Grandma Bidney!
See those long fingernails? Due to him being overdue, he has wrinkly hands & feet, dry skin and long nails! That's what he gets for staying in so long! (Just kidding ;)
All your friends and family are waiting, too. Your bags are packed (you check the contents daily). They sit, sullen and neglected, by the front door. The "happy day" has come and gone, the bus left without you, and, even though you know that only five percent of all women deliver on their due dates, you feel cheated, robbed, over-anxious, chomping at the bit. You've been handed a rain check for the World Series. The big bobsled race has been delayed because of gale winds. . . you get the idea.
Here you sit, a great big lump of a woman, bigger than you ever thought you could possibly be, all dressed up with no place to go. Well, not even dressed up—those once-cute maternity duds have turned to stretched-out, stained rags, but you're NOT buying another outfit now. You keep waiting for an urge to clean behind the stove (everybody SAYS that's a clear sign of impending labor). If this is your first child, you've been waiting for months (perhaps your whole life) to be initiated into the mysteries of womanhood but now, instead of gazing into the beautiful milky eyes of a newborn, you're seeing your OB-GYN so often that you can predict her shoe wardrobe rotation.
Remember way back when, a couple of months ago, when you had that sudden moment of sheer horror realizing that something the size of a cantaloupe (the baby's head) was going to HAVE to get out of a rather sensitive hole currently the size of a teaspoon. Well, now you're way past caring. It's gotta come out. If that's the only way, well then, you'll DEAL with it. AS SOON AS SOMEBODY LETS YOU!! Meanwhile, everybody keeps telling you, "Enjoy your freedom while you still have it," "Get a lot of rest, you're going to need it!" and other inane (and accurate) comments. You would kill them, except that it's too hard to stand up. Can't they understand you're primed, ready to rumble?
Hurry Up Baby, the Doctor's Waiting!
Besides the emotional distress of waiting for baby to yawn, glance at its wristwatch, and decide it's time to saunter into its lifetime, you've also got another pressure on you (and I'm not talking about that huge head bumping against your bladder): the medical establishment. Most OBs allow you two weeks (a mere 14 days!) past due date before they flip out and schedule a labor induction, that is, chemically induce labor through the use of a drug called Pitocin. Even before they go that far, the woman past her due date will probably be subject to non-stress tests, careful perusal of kick-count charts, and more and more weighing and measuring.
Do you detect a note of cynicism in my voice? Good reading! Sure, there are sometimes medical reasons for all these tests and intervention, but much of it is simply based on endless charts of medical averages about how long babies take to get ripe. My own grandmother carried three of her babies for ten months. That's just how she had babies—she's not alone on the planet. While you may not feel as though you have a lot of say in whether or not your labor will be induced—after all, you don't want to risk the health of your baby—it's a gentle reminder that you need to question your doctors about all procedures they prescribe.
Under the internal and external pressures to have a baby NOW, it's no wonder you—like many parents-to-be—want solutions you can do at home to get baby in gear and get little him or her OUT of there, and into your waiting arms.
Ready to have your baby, but baby isn't cooperating? You might consider exploring the following options. (Beware: Not all of these are medically proven or even recommended. For some people, they might even be dangerous. Before trying them out, please, please call your medical practitioner!)
Nipple stimulation, by finger, or tongue, when done for an hour at a time three times a day, can help start contractions. This may seem like a simple solution, and it can be. Be aware though, that nipple stimulation can generate overly strong contractions leading to a quick and potentially dangerous labor. It's not as safe as it seems!
Intercourse
Semen contains prostaglandin, a substance used to help soften the cervix before labor is chemically induced. Therefore, sperm deposited near the cervix might generate a little action. Anyway, it's a fun way to while away the hours. Sexual intercourse is safe unless your waters have broken, in which case there's the risk of infection.
Birth educators sometimes recommend Black and Blue Cohosh, and red raspberry leaf. Remember that herbs are drugs, and never use them without medical permission—just because they're natural doesn't mean they aren't potent and potentially dangerous. If you would like to try this option, consult an expert (perhaps a local midwife).
For the desperate. Try this one only if your induction is scheduled for the immediate future and you really want to try to deliver naturally. The laxative action can be quite unpleasant (take it from one who knows), but the contractions in the bowel might start things next door—at least that's the theory.
It's a law of nature—the minute you're far, far away from the hospital and medical care, then you'll go into labor. Ah forget it, this method is both risky and desperate!
Just remember, fruit ripens and then it falls. Nobody stays pregnant forever. All babies get born, one way or the other. Relax, breathe, it will happen to you...
Okay, okay! Stop! Don't try to stand up.... don't hit me... I'm out of here!!"
It’ll come whether you’re ready or not, so grab your bag, call the doc, get a hold of the grandfolks-to-be and get ready to execute your much-rehearsed plan of action. PLEASE DO NOT put the pedal to the metal. Labor typically last 13 hours (8 hours for mothers who have delivered once already), and getting to the birth center 10 minutes earlier isn’t likely to make a big difference. Try to keep a level head and drive safely: there’s a lot at stake."
"Nobody ever wants to voice ALL of the fears they have about child birth. Sure, people will say “I’m scared it hurts” but they don’t want to talk about the other fears.
How about the fear of pooping on the birthing table?
The fear of pooping during birth is a totally valid one. Why? Well, when it is time to “push” the baby out, many nurses will tell you to bear down like you are having a bowel movement.
Yes, so if you’re bearing down like you’re having a bowel movement, what do you expect to happen? Yes, Virginia, you're going to have a bowel movement.
When I had my first child, I was pushing for close to two hours before she was born. Two very long hours. After she was born, my husband took a bunch of pictures of her, including her feet.
Her feet had brown poo stains on them. At the time, my husband had told me she pooped on herself when she was born. I then walked around explaining to everyone that my child had pooped on herself while being born.
It was awhile before I put two and two together: A new baby has yellow poop. But, that first poop is actually a tarry black mess. It sure isn’t brown.
That means that I pooped on my baby when she was born. Welcome to the world, sweetie! Here is some poop for your feet!
I’m just glad that I didn’t poop during a water birth. Could you imagine sitting in a tub with your partner and having a “floater” pop up?
Well, if anything, it would have given us practice for dealing with all the “floaters” that my daughter, now a toddler, likes to produce."
Here's my 40 week pics....how do I look??
