Eli is 20......

.....months that is! No more teens......although I'm sure the actual teen years will be a little more challenging :) It's strange to think that Eli will be 2 in less than 4 months!

Eli & I both feel better although it took Eli about a week to get his appetite back. I swear he didn't eat one vegetable the entire week! We went to the doctor on Thursday to see if there was anything more going on as he was still have loose stools & not eating. She said he had a viral bug that had made the cultures in his tummy out of whack so she prescribed probiotics. I had heard about probiotics and had considered them for Eli but never had until now. She had him take a higher dose to help his system but we hope (after some research) to continue him on probiotics on a daily basis since he seems to have digestive issues overall. I'll keep you updated :)

Due to Eli's bug, we skipped out on Toddler Town (I actually think that is where he caught the bug to begin with) on Wednesday but attended a Parents As Teachers "Spring" event on Thursday. There Eli (or I should say I) made a wind sock out of a paper sack & string and a butterfly out of coffee filters and colored water to dye the filters with pipe cleaners. That's what is so great about attending PAT events as everything they do can be done at home with very cheap and accessible items. On Friday, we attended a picnic playdate at the park per a good idea by Cheryl. All kiddos and mommy's had a great time and we plan to do it again this week! Here are some pictures from the playdate:

Miss Callie eating grapes (see Eli in the background?):

Miss Addie with her adorable floppy hat:

Playing with the Jack's (I think??) Sponge Bob bat:

Heading up to the slides:

Playing ball with Brody:

See, there's Brody!:

After much searching, I used the RSS feature on Craigslist (thanks Anjanette!!) and found this toddler slide. It's the perfect size and Eli already has figured out the steps. We still haven't tried to put up the tree swing, but hopefully it will work. At least we have something in the back yard now!!:

Eli's favorite outdoor activity, picking "fowers":

He's growing up so fast!!:

We also have our favorite visitors (or residents) who returned this week to our back yard (no, I didn't take this picture):

If you couldn't tell, I was being facetious. These little boogers are called Carpenter Bees because they burrow in wood to make their nest where the queen bee lives and the male worker bees spend their time intimidating anyone coming around the nest. They are a decent size and are quite intimidating, although they don't sting. We MUST get rid of these things for Eli's sake along with the wasps who also like to hang out in our yard. If we could afford frequent pest control, I would do it in a heartbeat! Eric is researching how to to get rid of the bees and we will hopefully have results soon.

Now some other pictures from the week:

Eli has become very good at being entertained by everyday, mundane things. Here is an example:

And another one:



Did you know Hy-Vee gave out free balloons to kids? We were going to buy one for Eli today and found out this little tidbit:

This week we go to the chiropractor (we cancelled last week due to Eli's bug) and have another picnic playdate on Wednesday. We then head up to Des Moines to visit the Bidney clan Friday. Have a great week!

Stellan's heart

Little Stellan is in surgery this morning for his heart. It's really amazing to visit their blog to see all the people around the world who "heart" stellan and are praying for him. I've become a follower of his journey since seeing the blog button on a friend's blog. So take some time today to think about and/or pray for Stellan, the doctors, and his family. Oh, and try to wear orange (you'll see why if you click on the above button and visit the MckMama blog)....Eli is!!

In sickness and health.....

As you can tell by the post title, we've had some sickness in our household this week. I have been fighting some sort of throat/cough thing that resulted in me barely having a voice on Saturday (trying to order Starbucks drive through was a little tricky.....I ordered their Berry Tea Infusion which was excellent ;) and Eli has some sort of intestinal virus. Poor little guy didn't eat a lot starting Friday afternoon/evening and a was a little clingy and whiny. Later that evening he vomited, which my mommy instincts knew was going to happen. Saturday he acted fine but still had a poor appetite (thankfully no more vomiting) and then today he woke up (at 5:30am....yikes!) with a 100.1 degree fever and diarrhea throughout the day. What's amazing to me about all this is he somehow knows what foods he should eat and what foods he shouldn't. What I mean is because he has acted fine through all of this (the only way you would know he was sick was if you were changing his diaper :o) so I would offer him "regular" food throughout the day in which he would always say "no". Then when I would offer him foods such as soup crackers, applesauce, bananas, and toast (part of the BRAT diet), he would eat some. In fact, he actually ASKED for bananas today without me even saying anything. His little body knows what he can and cannot eat! Plus, I feel such relief during these times in the fact that he is still nursing. We've given him some Pedialyte, but he isn't too fond of it, so we've "spiked" his water with some so he'll at least get a little. Here's hoping his appetite will pick up in a day or two!!

Now for the "healthy" part of our week:

We've spent a good share of our time outdoors this week (on the non-rainy days, that is!). We have a lovely little park very close to our house which is usually empty so Eli has the run of it! Here are some pictures/video of our park visit this week:

Eli is a huge fan of the swing:

I usually have to hold Eli's hand up the stairs and slide down the double slide along side him because he tends to be a little wobbly. He is getting much better with his balance and not tripping over himself so I decided to let him walk up himself. He was SO proud of himself and must have walked up the stairs and gone down the slide 20 times before we left:

There is a lot of open grassy space at the park which Eli also loves to explore. The drop off from the playground is a little steep and he always gets going way to fast so I have to hold his hand so he doesn't roll down :)

Later that day, Eli wanted to pull his wagon around for a walk. I've figured out that if I let him pull the wagon (by himself or he gets mad until he gets stuck and then he says "help?" which is the key word that allows me to help him :) down our street, he then will willingly get into the wagon for the remainder of the walk. That way our walks aren't an hour vs. 30 minutes :)

I'm STILL searching for a used slide on Craigslist with little luck. I'm trying to stay around this area so I'm not spending money on gas to buy a used slide which would make up for buying a new one to begin with! We may have to break down and buy a new one if I don't have any success. Until then, Eli has invented his own slide:

Unfortunately, one of our neighbors has health issues and has the ambulance and fire truck come to their house about every couple of months. I figured while Eli was watching the ordeal I would show him how his puzzle pieces looked like the real deal. Eric thought this picture was a little morbid, but I do know our neighbor is okay and is now home so that makes it better :)

On Saturday I gave Eli a Gerber toddler meal to see if it would jump start his appetite. He got a few bites in him, but this is what it ended up looking like.....I guess he didn't want it:

Eli went through a time where he didn't want to sit down and read books before bed. He's back to liking book time and loves to pick out books he wants read to him while he points out all the colors, shapes, numbers, letters, animals, etc. that he knows in the books. Here is with book time on Saturday with daddy:

Now for some random Eli facts:

1. Eli has become very good at copying what we say....particularly the last word we say or a phrase he picks up. While in the Starbucks drive through (I know, how often do I go there, really!!) Eli heard me say "thank you" and he said "dank you!" over and over in the back seat in which the barista heard him and said "you're welcome!" You also can hear him say "okay", "hold on", "come on", and others I can't remember right now :)
2. Some words I actually wrote down this week are: buckles, crackers (pretty clear now instead of "ca-ku"), coffee (now coffee instead of "fok-ee"), snack, park, shoes, banana, "wa-er-meh-one"=watermelon, and "am-boh-uns"=ambulance.
3. We've been working on jumping and right now he just lifts his heels....too cute!
4. Eli knows the colors green, yellow, purple, & blue really well now!
5. While parking at Toddler Town this week Eli saw Jack getting out of his car and I normally would say "Look Eli, there's Jack!" and before I could even say it, he said "Jack?"
6. Eli is VERY intrigued by buckles, sniffing & blinking. Here's video of him practicing his buckling skills:



7. Eli is currently fascinated with eyes and points out that each person or animal he meets has eyes by saying "eyes?" and pointing to their face. I then respond "Yes, Eli, they do have eyes!"
8. Our neighbors (the same ones with the ambulance/fire truck visit) had a couple of their grandchildren visiting who were 4 year old twin boys. While we were outside, Eli saw them and immediately took off to visit with them. Eli LOVES to watch and hang out with older boys as he finds them so interesting. He probably is in awe of everything they can do since he is an only child and doesn't experience older kids all the time.

The weather is supposed to be overall good this week (some 70's and maybe 80's!!!) so I'm sure we'll be outside a lot this week, too. It is the last week for Toddler Town indoors and in May they will go "on tour" of the different parks in Independence-can't wait! Hopefully this week we will both become healthy again, too! Enjoy your week!

Life sized bunnies are scary (& other stuff)......

Hope everyone enjoyed their week and Easter weekend! Ours went well, except for the rain this afternoon, but at least there wasn't any snow or really cold temps! Actual spring temps are on the way (we hope!!)! Here are some pictures & slide shows from the week:

Eli continues to LOVE bubbles. We blow them about 3-4 times a day. He also has started to ask for "bubbes" and Einstein as he is settling down for sleep and I repeatedly have to say "No bubbles or Einstein tonight....tomorrow....now it is time for night-night....sleep time."

Eli also continues to love our cats. Sometimes he is so gentle & nice & other times, not so much. Mocha likes to sleep on the chair cushions under the table & Eli likes to visit her. Here is how it usually goes:

"Hi, Mocha!"

"Bye, Mocha!"

At the time, we thought we would keep the decorations daddy made for Eli's 1st birthday. Eli found them this week & had fun destroying them. We saved a few monkeys, though:

Our little smarty is always finding letters, numbers, & shapes in odd places. He saw this and said "seven?":

On Thursday we attended our monthly post-lactation group playdate. Andrew hosted this month & as usual, we all had a great time! Lots of yummy fruit, jello, & crackers that Eli enjoyed eating. He loves "yewo!"! Here's a slide show of the occasion. Oh, and several of the mamas are pregnant with baby #2.....how exciting (no, not me!)!:

Saturday, Kalani & his mommy stopped by for a quick visit. Kalani likes to give kisses, too, so it was cute to see them give each other kisses. Kalani's kisses are more like head-butting, slobbery pecks, but kisses none-the-less :):

Eli decided to perfect the art of sitting on our kitchen chairs. He literally repeated the below steps for about 15 minutes on Saturday:

As for Easter Sunday this year, we had a full day! We got up & went to church where there was the Easter bunny & an Easter egg hunt held before the service. Thankfully Eli attended an Easter egg hunt last weekend because we got outside late & only got one egg :( Oh well....they were full of candy & Eli doesn't really eat candy yet so mommy & daddy would have had to eat it all :) I was also unsure how Eli would do with the Easter bunny, but I thought he would at least find him interesting. Well, as you'll see in the below slide show, he was a little terrified of the over grown bunny! It's funny because our friend Brayden has similar pictures of him with the Easter bunny and Eli & Brayden are only 1 day apart....must be an age thing! After church we ate lunch, Eli napped, and then we colored & decorated Easter eggs. Mommy had more fun than Eli did as he really didn't get what we were doing. He just wanted to throw around the eggs (which he successfully did to one egg, as you'll see). In Eli's Easter basket from us he got rubber duckies for the bath and several bubble blowers. Grandma Bidney got him a couple of books & a stuffed sheep that is really cute. For dinner, we went to Grandma & Grandpa Clarkson's for a traditional yummy Easter dinner. Eli got a variety of play things for sand & water but also for outside use such as a rake, shovel, hoe, bucket, etc. OH-Eli said Grandma today for the first time to both Grandmas!! Yay!! He's been calling Grandpa papa for awhile now so it was about time!!

We hope to attend Toddler Town this week and mommy has a much needed hair appointment :) If the weather cooperates hopefully more outside time can occur, too! Mommy found a tree swing at a garage sale on Friday (along with some clothes for Eli!) so maybe we can get that up for Eli to enjoy. We also hope to find a slide....I'm stalking Craigslist!

Have a great week!!

Parenting post #5: Respond with Sensitivity

The component of attachment parenting that drew me the most is the idea of parenting with empathy, compassion, respect, and love. I have never “liked” the type of parenting that suggests a child should be “seen and not heard” or that DEMANDS a child respect his elders. As a teacher, I had the same belief. I remember in interview after interview talking about how respect should be earned, not demanded. I felt that a teacher must build an environment in the classroom where a child feels safe and respected and only then will a teacher get respect in return. In my career as a social worker, I have carried this belief into my interactions with children, families, and other professionals. I try very hard to think about how their lives are in their shoes. I try to show respect, even if I am not getting respect in return, as with children and adults, I must “practice what I preach” and be a role model.

API believes that parents can “build the foundation of trust and empathy by understanding and responding appropriately to your infant's needs”. What this means to me is as parents, we must recognize that infants only have one way to communicate-crying. Whether they are in need of food, a diaper change, feel sick, are uncomfortable, or just need comfort, a crying baby is a baby in need of attention and love. I have heard people say that if you respond to every cry of a baby, they are sure to become accustomed to it and spoiled. This is simply not true!! Babies “learn to trust when their needs are consistently responded to with sensitivity. Building a strong attachment with a baby involves not only responding consistently to his physical needs, but spending enjoyable time interacting with him and thus meeting his emotional needs as well.” (API).

Now I will be first to say that this can be TIRING!!! Besides breastfeeding, tending to Eli’s constant needs was very difficult for me physically. I had a hard time understanding why he needed me so much and why he wasn’t one of those “calm” babies that would sleep a lot, wake to eat, and sleep again perfectly content in their swing or bouncy seat. I quickly learned that Eli’s needs were more and that I had a choice: meet his needs or have a crabby, unhappy, untrusting baby. This was also hard for me because I hadn’t seen other moms going through this. Some families do not practice this style of responding with sensitivity. They aren’t bad parents, but they had a different mindset of what an infant needs and how to meet these needs. I couldn’t be this way. I had to do everything I could to meet his needs and recognize my role in helping him become a trusting human being. I also quickly realized that in meeting his needs, both physically and emotionally, I was also building a lasting bond between mother & child....one that was also a great need of my own! I feel so lucky to have such a close attachment to Eli. I’ve seen when babies/toddlers don’t have this relationship with their parents and it saddens me. These babies/toddlers, in my opinion, are easily agitated, extra clingy, and just overall unhappy. Not that ALL babies/toddlers don’t have moods and stages of clinginess and tantrums (Eli included!), but parents who do not put their child’s needs first and make the time to bond, it seems to show in their child's every day demeanor.

*****

“Babies and children require empathy and respect for their feelings to help them learn to feel safe and secure.” (API)

*****

Here are some important points to remember when responding to your baby/toddler/child with sensitivity and empathy:

• “Babies' brains are immature and significantly underdeveloped at birth, and they are unable to soothe themselves.”
• “Through the consistent, repeated responsiveness of a compassionate adult, children learn to soothe themselves.” What is important to remember, though, is every child has their own timeframe as to when they are ready and able to soothe themselves. Especially with sleeping, even when this magical moment has occurred (hehe), it is helpful to remember that children are human beings. No one night is the same and issues such as sickness, being too hot, too cold, nightmares, or just a need to be held can make each night unique.
• “Some babies and children appear more sensitive to the environment and stimulation.” This is important because, again in relation to sleep, each child is unique and some children want a nightlight, and others cannot have any light to sleep soundly. Some children want their own space, some want to sleep close to their parents. It’s really all trial and error for parents to find out what works best for their child!
• “Understand your child's natural inner rhythms, and try to schedule around them.” This point is also very important. With sleeping, Eli has always been a random napper up until around a year old. I tried to become as good as I could at reading his sleep cues, and ignoring the clock. Some parents believe in scheduling your child, which some children respond to well, while others do not. I am a scheduled person myself, so it was hard for me to not know what each day held because I was dedicated to working about HIS natural rhythms. Some days I fought this, and would try to help him nap when he wasn’t ready or keep him up when he was tired. These days always went badly. I eventually found his rhythm (sleep every 2 hours after waking from last round of sleep….but his naps were only 30-45 minutes …..so about 4 or so naps a day!). We did the same with bed time. Eli didn’t have a set bedtime until he was around 10-11 months and even then, it would fluctuate. Prior to this age, we did a routine each night (bath, books, nursing, bed), and still do, but we would then read his cues as to when to actually put him to bed. Only now is he more consistent at down to one nap a day at around the same time (1pm) and going to bed around the same time (8pm)….it took awhile to get here, though!!
• “It is perfectly normal for babies to want constant physical contact.” YES!! It is possible to hold and love your child without spoiling them! Later API talks about babywearing which is the perfect way to ensure physical contact!
• “High levels of stress, such as during prolonged crying, cause a baby to experience an unbalanced chemical state in the brain and can place him at risk for physical and emotional problems later in life.” I will speak to this when I discuss the topic of sleep sharing/co-sleeping in another post. BUT, I will say that I took a class about violence in grad school and one of the books we read has extensive research about exactly this. It is shown that a lack of attachment and an infants’ inability to learn trust can have negative effects later in life. Pretty scary stuff!
• “Tantrums represent real emotions and as such should be taken seriously.” In my research about tantrums (so I can understand the best way to deal with Eli’s tantrums!), everything talks about how at Eli’s age, tantrums are a way to express frustration of an inability to communicate. Toddlers are supposed to learn about and explore their world…it’s their job! When something gets in the way of that, tantrums can occur. As parents, we of course must keep our children safe from harm. But, there are more respectful and sensitive ways to accomplish this than saying “no!” all the time or reprimanding them for doing what is natural to them….being an explorer! Gently distracting, redirecting, teaching about what is unsafe and why, providing alternatives, and baby/toddler proofing their environment can greatly decrease this cause of tantrums. This can be hard work, though, as sometimes it seems it doesn’t matter how much you toddler proof, they always seem to find something they shouldn’t have. But, if you are with your child, or in close proximity, as they explore, you can see those “teachable moments” occur and can handle them with sensitivity instead of just reacting to them doing something YOU don’t want them to do. Repetition is also key along with maintaining a calm voice and getting on their level. A book I am slowly reading is called “Adventures in Gentle Discipline” by Hilary Flower. This book has been referred to as the “bible” of gentle discipline with wonderful ideas, examples, and techniques to use.
• “Some emotions are too powerful for a young child's underdeveloped brain to manage in a more socially acceptable manner.” To me, this simply means that we cannot expect toddlers to be able to think rationally and behave/react the way we would to our emotions. Toddlers are learning what their emotions are and need to be able to safely explore and express their sadness, anger, frustration, jealousy, etc. We are just supposed to gently guide them into more appropriate ways to react to their emotions to help them eventually be able to control and express them. This may mean a time or two of not being able to go to Target or not being able to sit down to a long meal at a restaurant without a tantrum. As sensitive parents, we need to do all we can to prepare for these situations by pre-teaching, having distractions (snacks, toys, etc.), letting the child be a part of the errand/outing (helping choose between buying oranges or apples, as an example), respecting the child’s desire to explore & investigate, and respecting the fact that an hour or more at a store where he/she is expected to sit in a cart or in a high chair is too much to expect!
• “A parent's role in tantrums is to comfort the child, not to get angry or punish her.” What I have read says that parents should acknowledge the child’s emotions during a tantrum by saying things like “I know you are feeling really angry right now because we had to put away the bubbles because mommy knows you really like bubbles. We can do bubbles again at bath time after dinner.” Parents should not condemn the child for their emotions and for the tantrum, but rather hold or console them if they want to be (some children do not), keep them safe, and talk to them about what they are feeling and with your facial expressions, tone of voice, and words showing empathy. This is of course hard to do as we have the instinct to stop them and show our displeasure of the tantrum, but this is only telling the child that their emotions are wrong and that when they express them, they get into trouble. Controlling emotions and expressing them in a safe and effective manner must be learned slowly over time through modeling and support.

Lastly, API talks about this principle in relation to the older toddler, much of which I already touched on above:

• “Continue to nurture a close connection by respecting the child's feelings and trying to understand the needs underlying his outward behaviors.”
• “Support explorations by providing a safe environment for discovery and remaining close by.”
• “Show interest in the child's activities and participate enthusiastically in child-directed play.”
• “Some children enjoy preschool or other programs where parents are not included, but they is not necessary for child development. Consider the child's readiness to separate and the amount and type of support provided by adults.”

Wow…..this was a long one but I think an essential one that is really the backbone to attachment parenting. Attachment parenting involves parenting with sensitivity towards and respect of their child/ren. After all, YOU are who they look to for a model of how to treat themselves, treat others, and operate in this world. I already feel our parenting has made an impact on Eli and am so proud that he is such a loving, caring, fun, outgoing, and secure little boy.

Playdate & Easter egg hunt

Hello friends! Per usual, there are a lot of pictures and a few videos from the week so let's get started!
First, a few little tidbits from the week:

1) Eli saw a shadow on the floor and said "L" and it took me awhile but I finally saw that the shadow was in the shape of an "L"!
2) Eli has decided to explore his ability to scream at the top of his lungs over & over for minutes on end.....much to the adults dismay!
3) Eli seems to have hit a lull in potty learning. He pooped once in the potty this week but he doesn't really tell us much anymore when he needs to poo-poo or that he has. We have to ask him and only sometimes does he "admit" that he is. He's had some constipation issues so I wonder if that is why. We'll just keep asking him & if he shows desire to sit on the potty, then he will! We'll see how the cloth diapers work in about a month or so.
4) Eli enjoyed watching the sun set this week (the evenings it wasn't cloudy) and would point at it out the window and say "sun?"
5) Eli continues to be obsessed with bubbles & goes straight to the bathroom door (where we keep them for bath time) multiple times a day. He is so fascinated by them so who can deny him?!





6) Eli LOVES to throw items down our stairs....especially balls. But there are also other items that make their way such as cups, stuffed animals, puzzle pieces, blocks, etc.
7) Eli is learning his colors really well these days. He likes to say the colors of his crayons & play-doh. We practice with all skills throughout the day by asking Eli what things are, how many there are, what color they are, what shape they are, etc. He loves to tell people what he knows and continues to love learning each day!
8) Eli loves to give hugs & kisses throughout the day. He's pretty outgoing and social most of the time & has no issue giving friends & family numerous hugs & kisses.....I love it!! He also loves to hug & kiss inanimate objects such as cups, play-doh, & his toys. He has so much love to share :)
9) Eli also says "hi" ALL day long.
10) We continue to have the standing on the couch issue. I think the newness is starting to wear off....on to climbing on other items like coffee tables....ahhhh!!!

Now for some fun pictures/videos:

On Friday, we had a couple friends over for a playdate: Jack, Colten, Callie, Brody & their mommies(aunts/cousins)! Eli loves to host playdates & share his toys with his friends. My concern was sometimes he gets a little wild & starts throwing things no matter who is in the path.....all out of fun, but it hurts nonetheless! No one was hurt so it was a good time :)

Eli showing his friends his toybox (Callie must have been tired of being around all the boys ;):

Jack & Eli taking a break:

A group shot....amazing!!!:

Before everyone left, Eli had to give each of his friends a kiss. Here he is going in for the lip smacking with Colten:

Girlfriend, Callie:

Callie's cousin, Brody:

"Hey, guys, thanks for coming over!!":

Saturday we were invited to an Easter egg hunt at Callie's grandparent's beautiful home-in-progress:

Eli enjoyed the "circle" toy:

And climbing the dirt pile with daddy:

Let the hunt begin!

I had to tell Eli just once how to hunt eggs & then he was off!

He filled one sack & moved on to a second by the time we were done!

Eli made a new friend at the hunt.....a cute little pug!:

At one point he gave him a hug....it was too cute:

And as you could expect, when the BIG bubbles were brought out....Eli was completely mesmerized and even ran after the "bubble lady" when she went to put them away. Daddy had to ask to blow more so Eli could get his "bubble fix" for the afternoon:

Trying on mommy's shades:

Eli really enjoyed himself....thanks Callie for inviting us!!

At some point during the week, Eli decided to sport Pari's head band that she left at our house.....he's ready to do "Sweatin' to the Oldies", don't you think??!

Stacking the play-doh containers is MUCH more fun than actually playing with the play-doh!:

"Well, I guess playing with it is fun too":

Here he is hugging the play-doh & saying "ohhhh!":

Puzzles are still a favorite!:

And so is helping mommy clean:

This week we have 2 playdates, we both go to the chiropractor, and I go to lunch with a grad school friend on Saturday. Have a great week!!

P.S. I hope to get to a Parent Post this week!