What to do when you're overdue!!

This article made me laugh till I cried. Even though I'm not overdue yet, it still rings true to pregnant women over 38 weeks or so..... (taken from babyzone.com):

"You're having a baby? When?!?" From the minute your urine turned the little stick pink or the nurse called with the news, (for some women, from the second of conception), every event of your pregnancy has focused towards one magic moment in the future: your due date. It's been emblazoned on your calendar and your co-workers' memories; it's practically been tattooed on your forehead. Well now the future is here. It came, it went, and you're still here waiting. And waiting.

All your friends and family are waiting, too. Your bags are packed (you check the contents daily). They sit, sullen and neglected, by the front door. The "happy day" has come and gone, the bus left without you, and, even though you know that only five percent of all women deliver on their due dates, you feel cheated, robbed, over-anxious, chomping at the bit. You've been handed a rain check for the World Series. The big bobsled race has been delayed because of gale winds. . . you get the idea.

Here you sit, a great big lump of a woman, bigger than you ever thought you could possibly be, all dressed up with no place to go. Well, not even dressed up—those once-cute maternity duds have turned to stretched-out, stained rags, but you're NOT buying another outfit now. You keep waiting for an urge to clean behind the stove (everybody SAYS that's a clear sign of impending labor). If this is your first child, you've been waiting for months (perhaps your whole life) to be initiated into the mysteries of womanhood but now, instead of gazing into the beautiful milky eyes of a newborn, you're seeing your OB-GYN so often that you can predict her shoe wardrobe rotation.

Remember way back when, a couple of months ago, when you had that sudden moment of sheer horror realizing that something the size of a cantaloupe (the baby's head) was going to HAVE to get out of a rather sensitive hole currently the size of a teaspoon. Well, now you're way past caring. It's gotta come out. If that's the only way, well then, you'll DEAL with it. AS SOON AS SOMEBODY LETS YOU!! Meanwhile, everybody keeps telling you, "Enjoy your freedom while you still have it," "Get a lot of rest, you're going to need it!" and other inane (and accurate) comments. You would kill them, except that it's too hard to stand up. Can't they understand you're primed, ready to rumble?

Hurry Up Baby, the Doctor's Waiting!

Besides the emotional distress of waiting for baby to yawn, glance at its wristwatch, and decide it's time to saunter into its lifetime, you've also got another pressure on you (and I'm not talking about that huge head bumping against your bladder): the medical establishment. Most OBs allow you two weeks (a mere 14 days!) past due date before they flip out and schedule a labor induction, that is, chemically induce labor through the use of a drug called Pitocin. Even before they go that far, the woman past her due date will probably be subject to non-stress tests, careful perusal of kick-count charts, and more and more weighing and measuring.

Is All This Really Necessary?

Do you detect a note of cynicism in my voice? Good reading! Sure, there are sometimes medical reasons for all these tests and intervention, but much of it is simply based on endless charts of medical averages about how long babies take to get ripe. My own grandmother carried three of her babies for ten months. That's just how she had babies—she's not alone on the planet. While you may not feel as though you have a lot of say in whether or not your labor will be induced—after all, you don't want to risk the health of your baby—it's a gentle reminder that you need to question your doctors about all procedures they prescribe.

But... Back to the Waiting

Under the internal and external pressures to have a baby NOW, it's no wonder you—like many parents-to-be—want solutions you can do at home to get baby in gear and get little him or her OUT of there, and into your waiting arms.

Ready to have your baby, but baby isn't cooperating? You might consider exploring the following options. (Beware: Not all of these are medically proven or even recommended. For some people, they might even be dangerous. Before trying them out, please, please call your medical practitioner!)

Nipple Stimulation

Nipple stimulation, by finger, or tongue, when done for an hour at a time three times a day, can help start contractions. This may seem like a simple solution, and it can be. Be aware though, that nipple stimulation can generate overly strong contractions leading to a quick and potentially dangerous labor. It's not as safe as it seems!

Intercourse

Semen contains prostaglandin, a substance used to help soften the cervix before labor is chemically induced. Therefore, sperm deposited near the cervix might generate a little action. Anyway, it's a fun way to while away the hours. Sexual intercourse is safe unless your waters have broken, in which case there's the risk of infection.

Herbs

Birth educators sometimes recommend Black and Blue Cohosh, and red raspberry leaf. Remember that herbs are drugs, and never use them without medical permission—just because they're natural doesn't mean they aren't potent and potentially dangerous. If you would like to try this option, consult an expert (perhaps a local midwife).

Mineral Oil

For the desperate. Try this one only if your induction is scheduled for the immediate future and you really want to try to deliver naturally. The laxative action can be quite unpleasant (take it from one who knows), but the contractions in the bowel might start things next door—at least that's the theory.

Hike the Appalachian Trail or the Andes

It's a law of nature—the minute you're far, far away from the hospital and medical care, then you'll go into labor. Ah forget it, this method is both risky and desperate!

Time to Get Zen About It

Just remember, fruit ripens and then it falls. Nobody stays pregnant forever. All babies get born, one way or the other. Relax, breathe, it will happen to you...

Okay, okay! Stop! Don't try to stand up.... don't hit me... I'm out of here!!"