Hello all! Hope everyone has had a great week! Eli continues to shock us with how much he is learning and how quickly. We have several videos to show his learning which are further down this post. First, here are some events from the week:
1) Eli is doing better with using a fork. I still cut up his food as he tends to be a little chipmunk but he is doing better with all his new teeth (which are making him wake more often at night!) Here are pictures of him using his fork. I usually give him his fork towards the end of the meal or meal time would take twice as long!
2) Eli has enjoyed playing with the big ball and finds "bounce the ball" to be a very fun game:
3) Eli enjoys his coloring and even used some "regular" crayons to help make daddy's Valentine's Day card:
4) Eli continues to thoroughly dislike brushing his teeth. I found out about these rubber brushes that look and act like a chew toy but are covered with bristles and are shaped like a tray so they brush their teeth as they chew! Eli seems to enjoy the new way of brushing his teeth! Yay!!:
5) Eli has enjoyed our sporadic warm days so much that now every time the door is opened he fusses because he wants to go outside. I have a feeling this summer we will be living outside! I hope at an upcoming consignment sale to find an outdoor slide and swing set for him to play on.
6) Eli has learned how to climb up on the couch and get up to where the cats are sleeping. Yikes!
7) Today Eric asked Eli who Eli was and he pointed to himself and we swear he said "Ewijah"!
8) For Valentine's Day, we did our taxes (we got a nice refund, so that was a great Valentine's Day gift!) and went to lunch at On the Border. It was quite yummy! We got Eli a fun doodle toy and a Valentine book. Daddy & Eli bought mommy cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory and a Christina Aguilera greatest hits CD. Mommy & Eli got daddy sleeper pants and boxer briefs (hehe). It was a nice day!!
9) Eli's new words for the week are: happy (he started to say this after I called him a happy boy and says it everyday now....too cute), "bow"=bowl, "bubbes"=bubbles, "Eintein"=Einstein (for Baby Einstein which he watches while I make dinner), "tow"=towel (one night after his bath he pointed to his towel and I told him it was a towel and now he says it each night), "rond"=round (for "Ring Around the Rosie"), and "bocci"=broccoli.
10) Eli is doing so well with his letters. He can identify almost all letters but sometimes he randomly just says letters (incorrectly). But you can tell when he is trying as he gets a look on his face of true concentration and he gets them right!
According to API, “Making informed decisions about childbirth, newborn care, and parenting practices is a critical investment in the attachment relationship between parent and child. Education is a key component of preparation for the difficult decisions required of parents and is an ongoing process as each stage of growth and development brings new joys and challenges.”In this principle, they combine pregnancy, birth & parenting. I feel these 3 topics are much too big to cover in one post, so I’m just going to discuss pregnancy and child birth.
Reflect on childhood experiences and current beliefs about parenting
I think many women who want children naturally reflect on their own upbringing and contemplate the type of mother they hope to be. We all have opinions about how well our parents raised us and the experiences that contributed to making us who we are today.I remember while studying to become a teacher, I reflected on the strong belief in education my parents had for my sisters and me.In addition while in grad school, I reflected about how lucky I was to be raised in a home where my parents cared for and loved us unconditionally, as many children, sadly, are not as lucky.
Explore parenting philosophies
This one goes along with the previous point, but just emphasizes the importance of taking the time to research about the type of parent you want to be.In my preparation to become a teacher, I learned about child development, discipline strategies, and child psychology.This experience already helped me form some of my ideas about the use of positive discipline and a parenting style that understands, recognizes and respects the development stages of children.During my pregnancy, I focused primarily on the pregnancy itself and the first couple of months of infancy.I think I felt too overwhelmed to dig any deeper.I did know through my experiences, that I wanted to be close both physically and emotionally to my children and would do what I could to give my children everything they needed to be successful and happy in life.I now know that many of my philosophies are in line with attachment parenting principles.
Work through negative emotions surrounding the pregnancy
I did not have negative emotions about my pregnancy as Eli was planned and we were ecstatic about his upcoming arrival.From the moment Eric & I planned our future and time line for children, I did all I could to make our plans work.From stopping birth control a few months prior to trying to help my cycle get on a natural rhythm to tracking my ovulation, I was able to find out fairly quickly that I was pregnant with Eli.In fact I was only a few weeks along when my pregnancy was confirmed!
Prepare physically for pregnancy; eat nutritious foods, exercise regularly, avoid stress when possible
For me, I am not an unhealthy eater, but I am not a health nut either.When I became pregnant, my appetite increased, and I allowed myself to indulge in my cravings: ice cream, peanut butter and fruit.But along with that, I tried to eat healthy meals and I stopped drinking coffee.It was actually interesting because I stopped even craving coffee!I didn’t exercise regularly, but did go on walks and did some prenatal yoga.I had pelvic and back pain so the yoga was helpful, although I just used a video and probably would have benefited from an actual class.I also wish I would have gone to a chiropractor.I believe with baby #2 (no, I’m not pregnant) I will make that a priority!I was good about avoiding stress and had no problem telling my co-workers and boss when I couldn’t do something.I did work up until the day Eli was born, but I wanted to save all my time for AFTER he was born!I knew I was sharing my body with my child and that anything I did to my body I was also doing to my child’s, so it was important to remain healthy and stress free.I believe it is very important to have this mind set during pregnancy as it prepares you for the drastic change of bringing a child into your life- especially when you are committing to a baby-led, attachment style of parenting which is much different than trying to mold baby to YOUR schedule and lifestyle….it’s a commitment!!
Explore different types of healthcare providers and birthing options.
This one was hard for me.While I commend moms who do home births, use midwives and doulas, and go natural, I knew that wasn’t for me.I went to a doula for a massage once per referral of a friend and while I liked her, and thought it would be amazing to have a doula present at my birth, the money was just too much to even consider.As for home births, I don’t think I could EVER do one.I am naturally a “what if” person and the thought of something going wrong and not being at a hospital really freaks me out.As for a natural birth, I considered this after reading great things about it, but decided I couldn’t do it.I had never experienced any sort of intense pain in my life: never had a broken bone, any surgery, not even a cavity filled!I knew that the pain of childbirth would be too much for me and that I would end up being angry and frustrated with the pain.I didn’t want child birth to be that way for me.I wanted to enjoy it (so to speak) and be alert enough to participate but medicated enough to not feel all the pain.I chose an epidural, and knew I would get one as soon as they allowed me to.I won’t go into detail about my experience, but essentially my epidural only partially worked anyway, so I didn’t really get my complete wish JIt is important, though, to research and decide what type of birth you are wanting and come up with a birth plan to help guide you on that special day!I do think that if you decide to go natural or some alternative type of delivery, it is important to be flexible and remember that you are not a failure if it doesn’t go exactly as you hoped.I’ve heard of this happening and I can’t imagine feeling that guilt about your baby’s birth.It should be a happy occasion….not one filled with regret!
P.S. I also wanted to add that I think I had a double whammy so to speak because I went into full labor around 6:30pm at night (with slight labor the previous 12 hours). I feel for all moms in this situation because essentially what happens is you are usually in labor for about 8-12 hours. Therefore, you miss one night of sleep due to being in labor. This was another reason I wanted an epidural. I wanted to be able to rest and possibly sleep so that I could have more energy for the actual pushing. I got my epidural at 4 cm and was pain free until 8 cm. So from about 9pm-2am or so I was feeling great. My family had drove down from Iowa and I was able to talk with them and enjoy the experience. Then around midnight or so, Eric & I decided we had better try to get some sleep....or at least some rest. Unfortunately I never actually fell asleep because around the 2am time frame I began to feel intense pain on my right side of my body. This was the epidural not working on my right side and no matter how many ways the nurses positioned me (you have to rotate your body with an epidural to make sure the medicine is equally distributed), I still felt the contractions on that one side. That night the birthing unit was particularly busy (8 boys born that night!!) and the anesthesiologist was busy with emergency C sections so I was low on the totem pole and didn't get any relief until I was almost a 10 and ready start pushing. If I could have got a couple of hours of sleep at least I think that would have helped me. In addition, after Eli was born (I thought my body was literally being torn apart as I could feel the doctor prying me open!!), I was SOOOOO exhausted and I remember just feeling so glad it was over but still in pain. They put him on my chest and I said "We made it!" in a very weak voice with my eyes barely open (this is on video). Then they took Eli to check him over and they began to sew me up (I tore in 2 places). This was equally as painful and I just so wanted it to be over and try to enjoy my son. I feel that if the epidural would have worked like it should, I would have not felt so much pain and could have enjoyed the moment a little more. This is how I now actual natural child birth would not have worked for me. I cannot tolerate pain....period. I really feel that losing the night of sleep was hard on me. I already was tired and giving birth at 8:05am and having to face the day without any sleep was a lot for me to handle. If I had it my way I would have start hard labor at around 8am and gave birth around 8pm! I may have had not so great sleep before then but at least I would have had some and could then have maybe been able to get some more sleep that evening. Can't plan these things, though (I guess you can, but that would mean an induction which I only would have done if necessary)!!
I just think that some people can do natural, others truly cannot. I have a friend who did natural with her first-hated it-and then did epidurals with her last 2 and wished she had known how better an epidural made it for her. I have another friend who had an epidural and says she had very little pain and enjoyed the experience of child birth (I was slightly jealous of this!). I do think, though, that if my body just doesn't take epidurals like it should, probably due to my scoliosis, I should probably plan to use better techniques for natural child birth. We did take a child birth class so I used my breathing, but it didn't seem to help much.
Recommit to a strong, healthy relationship between expectant parents
Without saying, this one is essential.Bringing a child into your relationship will not fix your relationship!In addition, because attachment parenting is a lifestyle change and commitment to a baby-led approach, it is essential to have the support and “buy-in” from your spouse.I don’t know how I could have done the style of parenting I am now and made it this far without the support of my husband.Eric is so wonderful about listening to my research and dedicating himself to attachment parenting.I feel Eli is very attached and bonded with Eric and loves his daddy.Eric puts Eli first and has no issues with dedicating his time to playing with and caring for Eli.
Educate yourself about breastfeeding
YES!It is very important to educate yourself about breastfeeding.Even if you are not sure, telling yourself that you will learn all you can: read books, take a class, attend La Leche League, BEFORE you give birth will help you to feel prepared to make an educated decision.Breastfeeding does not always come naturally.My experience with breastfeeding was a tough one for a few months and I almost quit many times, but with support I made the decision to keep going and do what was best for Eli.Now I can’t imagine our mother child relationship WITHOUT breastfeeding as it is such an integral part!Lactaion support groups at the hospital, LLL, websites, forums, and family support are what got me through and I am so thankful!I could go on and on about the importance and benefits for both mother and child of breastfeeding but I won’t as there are many resources.My resources that I refer to often are:
I pretty well summed this up earlier but I will say it is truly a personal decision.I don’t feel that because I chose an epidural that I am any less attached to Eli.I was alert and even though I couldn’t physically move around due to the epidural, I don’t know if I would have anyway!
Research all aspects of "routine" newborn care, such as bathing, circumcision, eye drops, blood samples, collecting cord blood, etc. Document your preferences and share them with health care providers.
I definitely researched all of this and I think the only thing I would have changed is maybe donating cord blood to a cord blood bank.I knew we couldn’t afford to bank privately, but I read about donating to a public cord bank but just never followed through on it.I also really contemplated circumcision.We decided to go ahead and circumcise for a couple of reasons but it was good to research and feel that our decision was based on an educated choice.
Prepare to have extra help in the first few weeks after birth
We had prepared for my mom to stay with us for a couple of weeks after delivery.In addition, Eric had the first week off.My in-laws live in town so I knew they were available to help at any time and they did on several occasions.Having this kind of help is essential!Knowing family could attend to Eli while I tried to nap (my anxiousness often didn’t allow me to) or at least showered was wonderful.My mom also helped with meal prep and cleaning which helped relieve my stress and allowed me to feel more relaxed about the time I was dedicating to Eli.
Dr. Sears' first principle in Attachment Parenting is Birth Bonding. Here he talks about how the first few weeks after birth are the most essential to attachment. He says "A close attachment after birth and beyond allows the natural, biological attachment-promoting behaviors of the infant and the intuitive, biological, caregiving qualities of the mother to come together. Both members of this biological pair get off to the right start at a time when the infant is most needy and the mother is most ready to nurture" Having help around to give you this absolutely imperative time with baby is essential.
As I said before, if I felt we could afford a doula, I would have definitely hired one.The benefit of a doula is having an experienced professional who is there for you and only you.They work with you during the pregnancy to educate you and learn about what YOU want for your birth and then make sure your wishes are heard.
P.S. According to the doula I saw her fees were around $500. This was too much for us. She also said that since I was planning to use an epidural, that her services may not be as useful as it would if I were going natural or using some other alternative birthing option. For a mom who is just planning to have pain meds and follow doctor's orders, so to speak, a doula may not be much help as their role is really to make sure your voice is heard and birth plan is followed. Maybe this isn't true, but that is what made us not hire one.
Be prepared with questions to ask should unexpected birth or newborn situations arise
What are the benefits of this intervention, and what are your instincts telling you?
What are the risks and possible outcomes if I choose to do this or if I choose not to?
What are the other options?
How long do I have to make the decision?
While I didn’t have to worry about any adverse situations (thankfully!), I feel that I would have trusted the doctor to make the best decision.Yes, I would have listened to my instincts and if there was time, or a decision to be made, I would have researched my options like crazy.But if an unexpected situation arose and the doctor gave their medical advice, I probably would have followed it.I did do some research prior to delivery about some things that could occur and watched MANY baby stories on TLC (hehe) to at least be aware of many of the complications that could occur.Maybe I have too much faith in the medical profession but I also felt I was in good hands with my OBGYN group.
This week has been full of activities and fun! On Monday, we attended Toddler Town which is a open gym type of activity for toddlers that only costs $1 to attend! It's indoors, which is great during the winter months. We met up with Callie & Jack, but I forgot the camera, sorry! Eli enjoyed playing with all the toys and I enjoyed chasing him around :) We plan to go on Friday this week so daddy can attend with us. On Wednesday we went to toddler story time at the library. It was full of toddlers and it consisted of reading of stories, dancing to music, and an activity at the end. Eli preferred to explore the library after the dancing, so we skipped out on the activity. He was quiet and didn't knock books off the shelf, so it was okay for him to explore. Then on Friday we attended breastfeeding group. It was a full house! We plan to attend at least 2 of these activities a week so Eli can get out and socialize since he stays home most of the time. Thank goodness for low cost/free activities!
Now for some pictures and videos:
Eli loves his Mocha cat (notice her ears ;):
Playing drums on the Cheerios' box....cheap entertainment!:
Another beautiful day on Saturday so we took a family walk. Eli enjoyed being in the wagon for the first half of the walk and then wanted to get out and help daddy pull the wagon. Too cute:
Eli is learning how to use his screwdriver to make his tool bench work:
And learning how to make his choo-choo train go:
Daddy had this Friday and the next 2 Friday's off due to comp time. Daddy took Eli outside and helped him down the stairs to play in the yard. Daddy also helps him go down the stairs inside when we are going to the garage. He's getting pretty good at it!:
Eli had a little bit of a tough time while exploring the front yard.....no tears, though!:
Eli is doing well at learning his letters. We bought a fun toy that helps Eli learn his letters:
On Thursday, our parent educator, Katie, paid us a visit. She hadn't seen us since before Christmas and we wanted to show her how well Eli is doing with his shapes, words and letters. We had Eli do his shape sorter toy and shapes puzzle and identify some letters and words in his favorite books. Katie was very impressed and even said that in her 5 years of being a parent educator she had not seen a 17 month old be able to not only say shapes, words & letters but identify them in books and put them together in puzzles by himself. She said that it seems he just has a great desire to learn and explore. She was also impressed with how well he mimics us and communicates his needs. I told her that he seems to enjoy all the learning toys/tools we have and often sits down and reads, does puzzles, and plays with his learning toys by himself with no initiating from us. I was very glad to hear that a professional agreed that Eli seems to have such a zest for learning. I hope this desire continues for a very long time!!
We also use flashcards and he enjoys telling us the letters he knows. It's funny how he will name several letters at a time and then begin to "forget" the letters he just identified. Can't expect perfection at 17 months!:
This week, Eli started to mimic us when we would say "whoa!" and even used it a few times appropriately (while walking backwards or turning in circles). He also likes to knock on doors and windows and say "knock". Eli also started to identify the heart shape and call it "hut". Eli's new letters that he can identify (most of the time ;) are T, Y & H.
Eli continues to have teeth sprouting up all over the place! He's been wanting to nurse more this weekend along with waking more night....all I contribute to his new teeth (and bout of constipation this weekend...poor guy!). When Eli lets me look in his mouth, I see 3 molars almost all the way in, a front tooth almost in, and 2 top teeth showing their white caps. Not sure what has instigated the sudden tooth parade, but I think it is making our little guy a little uncomfortable. Although I will say he doesn't act in pain, it's just the extra nursing and more waking at night. Hopefully he'll get a break soon!
Eli got new shoes this week. He was wearing a size 4 in "Genuine Kids" brand from Payless and they were getting harder and harder to get on his feet. I bought a size 5 in "Champion" brand and when I got them home and compared them to his old ones, they were hardly any bigger! I then exchanged them for size 6. They seem to fit him well but I can't believe he's wearing size 6! My growing boy!
This upcoming week we will attend a playdate, a cranialsacral appointment, and Toddler Town. Valentine's Day is this weekend and Eric & I are doing our taxes and going out to lunch. Very exciting....I know. Six years ago on February 15th, Eric asked me to be his wife.....wow! Have a great week everyone!!
Welcome to parenting post #2!I thought I would start by discussing the principles of Attachment Parenting, how I have or have not utilized them, and the research I have found.I’ll focus one principle a week from Attachment Parenting International (API) and Dr. Sears, the websites I frequent when I have questions about Attachment Parenting.In addition to these websites, I belong to a local forum on Attachment Parenting where parents in the KC area ask questions, share stories, and support each other on their journey.Here are the principles identified by API and Dr. Sears:
According to API, there are 8 principles in Attachment Parenting:
1)Prepare for pregnancy, birth and parenting
2)Feed with love and respect
3)Respond with sensitivity
4)Use nurturing touch
5)Ensure safe sleep, physically and emotionally
6)Provide consistent and loving care
7)Practice positive discipline
8)Strive for balance in personal and family life
According to Dr. Sears, there are 7 Attachment tools:
1)Birth bonding
2)Breastfeeding
3)Babywearing
4)Bedding close to baby
5)Belief in the language value of your baby’s cries
6)Beware of baby trainers
7)Balance
Below are some resources that I’ll be citing during my upcoming posts.Please feel free to comment about other resources that you think I would enjoy reading and referring to-I’d love the input!
Next week I’ll post about API’s principle of preparing for pregnancy, birth and parenting and Dr. Sears’ principle of birth bonding.Have a great remainder of the week!
I chose the title for this post because Eli has done very well at learning a variety of animal sounds & names: "mee-key"= monkey, "efant"=elephant, "ion"=lion, "iger"=tiger, duck, frog, and bee. Eli knows the sound an owl makes and can identify one in books. Eli's current favorite books have animals and he pulls one off the shelf, brings it to an adult, and points out all the animals he knows and their sounds. Did you know most children's books have bugs in them? I didn't until Eli pointed bugs out in almost every book! Who knew! Another word this week is hug.
While on the topic of words, Eli currently has 4 favorite letters that he can identify everywhere we go: v, u, p, & o. For example, this morning at Target we came in the front door and they had their portrait studio display up advertising Valentine's Day. We stopped next to it to wait for daddy and he started to say "V!! V!!". I looked around and didn't see what he was talking about until I looked at the sign and saw several "V's"! Eli also does this with numbers (all numbers are "2" right now), animals, and objects he knows. I bought shapes, colors, numbers and alphabet flash cards as I knew Eli would enjoy pointing and identifying the ones he knows and learning new ones. He also just likes to throw them around the living room :) MANY times throughout the day you will hear us say "What's this?"!
Now for a few pictures. Eli loves "peek-a-boo" or as we like to call it "Where's Eli?". Here he is enjoying a game of "Where's Eli" with A LOT of static electricity:
As I said last week, Eli must do almost everything we are doing. I cleaned the windows and afterwards Eli found a napkin on the floor, picked it up, and immediately went to work cleaning the windows. What a great helper!
Saturday was GORGEOUS (got up to 70 degrees!!) so we had to go outside. This was actually the first time he has played in our back yard since he started to walk so it was fun to see him explore. I brought a ball outside to play with but he was more interested in the leaves, fence, and barking dogs:
Today Eli decided he needed to make a few repairs around the house today with the help of Pat, Rusty, Squeeze, Dusty, Stretch, Philipe, and Turner (anyone impressed I know all the Handy Manny tool names???):
On of the objects Eli can identify anywhere is a clock. I let him play with daddy's alarm clock today so this is what he did:
Another irresistible video of daddy making Eli laugh:
Last but not least, a video of Eli hugging our very patient cat:
Other notes worthy of mentioning:
1) Eli is down to visiting his cranial sacral therpaist/chiropractor every 2 weeks. Doc is very impressed with how quickly his bones are taking and keeping the adjustments. I am able to do some work at home, too, and will attend a free seminar she is giving at the end of the month. This will allow me to continue work at home with Eli & future siblings.
2)Eli continues to tell us when he is poo-pooing. This is very helpful although it's pretty obvious when he is as he gets really quiet and tends to focus on t.v. or stand still somewhere while doing some grunting. Oh, and the smell also gives it away :)
3) Eli experimented with walking backwards this week.
4)Eli officially has 3 molars on their way in....poor guy!
5)Eli is experimenting with screaming as a technique to use when excited, angry or frustrated. I try hard to ignore it and pray it's just a phase :)
This week is FULL of activities that will be lots of fun! Monday we go to Toddler Town with friends Callie & Jack for the first time. Wednesday we attend Toddler Story Time at the library also with Callie & Jack. Thursday we get a visit from Eli's parent educator and Friday we hope to attend breastfeeding group to say to everyone since we haven't attended for a couple of months. Should be fun! Hope everyone has a wonderful week!!
